The Wall
by Sanguinary
Summary: Spike thinks about the song In The Flesh? Contains S/D. Doesn't need to be read in order or with others but it is suggested.
1. Spike

The Wall -In The Flesh?   
  
I'm sitting here, listing to the music start. I remember when this first came out.  
Dalton came back from town holding a record in his hands. He had gotten it off of   
one of his meals. He had heard that it was good.   
  
Well the start of it didn't sound any bloody good. I was about to shut it off   
when the gituar started. Dru had come back from eating. She sat down beside me   
and lay her head in my lap. The words are burnt into my brain.   
  
~ So you thought you might like to, ~  
~ Go to the show. ~  
~ To feel the warm thrill of confusion, ~  
~ That space cadet glow. ~  
~ Tell me is something eluding you, Sunshine? ~  
~ Is this not what you expected to see? ~  
~ If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes, ~  
~ You'll just have to blow your way through this disguise. ~  
  
Prague was still a decade away. No Angelus, no Slayer. Nothing but two vampires   
in love, touring the world.   
  
Just us.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer & co.  
This is the first in a series. 


	2. Buffy

The Wall- The Thin Ice   
  
~ Momma loves her baby, ~  
~ And Daddy loves you, too. ~  
~ And the sea may look warm to ya, Babe, ~  
~ And the sky may look blue. ~  
  
My mother sang this to me. This was when I was small. Two or three. I can still   
remember it. She baked bread in the morings. Dad read a newpaper. We were all so   
happy. This was before the drinking. Before the beating. Before my dad discovered   
I wasn't his son. I was just us.  
  
~ Oooooo Babe. ~  
~ Oooooooo Baby Blue. ~  
~ Oooooo Ooohh Babe. ~  
  
And there was Allen. My big brother. He was five. The apple of mom's eye. Dads   
pride and joy. He would die in less than a month. Killed by masked man.   
  
~ If you should go skating,   
~ On the thin ice of modern life,   
~ Dragging behind you the silent reproach,   
~ Of a million tear-stained eyes,   
~ Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice,   
~ Appears under your feet.   
~ You slip out of your depth and out of your mind,   
~ With your fear flowing out from behind,   
~ You as you claw the ice.   
  
We were out walking. It was four in the afternoon. Mom had given us some money to   
buy milk and a treat. We were almost there when he jumped out of the bushes. A   
man wearing a clown mask. He pulled a knife. I can still here the swish noise   
that it made as it sliced though the air. The sound not unlike tearing paper as   
it slid across my brother's throat. I'll never forget it.   
  
Mom and Dad lost control after that. They turned to the bottle. And they took out   
their frustations on me. Blameing me for not being the one who took the knife in   
the throat.   
  
Blameing me.   
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity. 


	3. Xander

The Wall- Another Brick In The Wall, Part I   
  
My parents have had their troubles from the beginning. It was only me who held   
them together. Sometimes when I was a little girl I used to think that I was the   
reason that they didn't love each other. Finnaly when I was ten they decided to   
spilt up. To see if some time apart would make the problems go away. Dad left for   
Europe.   
  
A couple of days after he left I heard this song.  
  
~ Daddy's gone across the ocean, ~  
~ Leaving just a memory, ~  
~ A snapshot in the family album. ~  
~ Daddy, what else did you leave for me? ~  
~ Daddy, whatcha leave behind for me? ~  
~ All in all it was just a brick in the wall. ~  
~ All in all it was just the bricks in the wall. ~  
  
Floyd was right.  
  
All and all...  
  
It was just a brick in the wall.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	4. Willow

Happiest Days of Our Lives   
  
First day of school. I had my hair up in a ponytail, a pink "My Little Pony"   
T-Shirt on and blue demin jeans. I and Xander were waiting for the bus when   
Cordeila's car drove by. She stuck her head out the window and yelled at us.  
  
"Hey there, losers! Look everyone! It's Alex and his girlfriend!" Cordelia made   
kissing noises while everyone standing around us laughed. The car drove away and   
the bus pulled up. I got on the bus as fast as I could and looked for an empty   
seat to sit in. I looked at the big kids in the back of the bus and I sat in the   
front seat. Xander sat beside me. The bus driver was listing to music.  
  
~ Well, when we grew up and went to school, ~  
~ There were certain teachers, ~  
~ Who would hurt the children in any way they could, ~  
~ By pouring their derision, ~  
~ Upon anything we did, ~  
~ Exposing every weakness, ~  
~ However carefully hidden by the kids. ~  
  
One on the bigger kids from the bus stop saw Xander and I siting together.   
  
"Look at the little love birds. Alex and Willow up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first   
comes love, then come marrage, then come Alex with a baby carrage!"   
  
Xander flushed bright red and grabbed my shoulders. He reached into my backpack   
and pulled out my barbie. Then he held her up in the air, a grim trophy and tore   
off her head. Xander chucked the head out a window and threw the barbie into the   
back of the bus. He then stood up and sat in the seat across from me and started   
talking to another boy. A boy called Jessie. I, on the other hand, promptly burst   
into tears.  
  
~ But in (but in) the town it was well known, ~  
~ When they got home at night, ~  
~ Their fat and psychopathic wives would thrash them, ~  
~ Within inches of their lives. ~  
  
That was the first time that I ever felt hate for Xander. But it wasn't the last   
time.  
  
It wasn't the last time.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	5. Wesley

The Wall- Another Brick In The Wall, Part II   
  
I was five. Mother had left me on the steps of a large brick school. There were   
other children around me, some looked even younger than I was. A bell rung and we   
were herded into the school. I was just about in the door when I heard singing   
behind me.   
  
~ We don't need no education. ~  
~ We don't need no thought control. ~  
~ No dark sarcasm in the classroom. ~  
~ Teacher, leave those kids alone. ~  
~ Hey, Teacher, leave those kids alone! ~  
~ All in all it's just another brick in the wall.~  
~ All in all you're just another brick in the wall. ~  
  
A boy about ten, in black leather pants, a white T-Shirt and a black leather   
jacket was walked up the steps. He winked at me and began to sing louder.   
  
~ We don't need no education. ~  
~ We don't need no thought control. ~  
~ No dark sarcasm in the classroom. ~  
~ Teachers, leave those kids alone. ~  
~ Hey, Teacher, leave those kids alone! ~  
~ All in all you're just another brick in the wall. ~  
~ All in all you're just another brick in the wall. ~  
  
A teacher walked up to him. The boy stopped singing to look at her. One of her   
boney hands reached out and grabbed his throat. The boy made a gaging noise and   
tried to get away from her. Her nails where sharp as knives and she tightened her   
grip, cutting the sentive skin on this throat. The crimson blood flowed down her   
fingeres and dripped on the floor. Then she let go. The boy fell to the ground,   
gasping and clutching his throat. The teached turned to look at me.  
  
"Do you see him?" Her voice was heavy with accent, Romanian sounds out of place   
among the British, "This is what happens to those who don't obey. What's you   
name?"  
  
"W-w-wesley." My voice sounded weak and choked.  
  
"Have you learned a lesson?" The bloody claws turned towards me. Streching like   
the talons of a creature who had tasted blood and wants more.  
  
"Yes."  
  
Yes, that day I learned my lesson well.  
  
I learnt well.  
  
Disclamer: Not my best peice but this is what popped into my head. I don't own   
the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only have the peices of my   
shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  



	6. Angel

The Wall- Mother  
  
(Brakets are the demons thoughts)  
Regular text is the soul's thoughts.  
  
~ Mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb? ~  
~ Mother, do you think they'll like this song? ~  
~ Mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls? ~  
~ Ooooowaa Mother, should I build a wall? ~  
  
I loved my mother. She was  
(Tastey, blood like honey)  
a kind woman who loved everyone. But I was her favorite child. I was her little   
(Angel, mommys little boy, her Angelus)  
Liam. Her favorite boy. Even when I was wasting my life.  
  
~ Mother, should I run for President? ~  
~ Mother, should I trust the government? ~  
~ Mother, will they put me in the firing line? ~  
~ Ooooowaa Is it just a waste of time? ~  
  
I spent most of my time drunk. Drunk and trying to get myself killed. I wouldn't   
have lived past thirty if Darla hadn't taken a likeing to me. I would be a   
corpse, dead and decayed in the ground.   
  
~ Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry. ~  
~ Momma's gonna make all of your nightmares come true. ~  
~ Momma's gonna put all of her fears into you. ~  
~ Momma's gonna keep you right here under her wing. ~  
~ She won't let you fly, but she might let you sing. ~  
~ Momma's gonna keep Baby cozy and warm. ~  
~ Oooo Babe. ~  
~ Oooo Babe. ~  
~ Oooo Babe, of course Momma's gonna help build a wall. ~  
  
She belived that I had come back from the dead. An Angel  
(Demon, her little Angelus come to take her life away)  
had come back one last time to say goodbye. If she hadn't let me in. If only she   
had turned me away.  
  
~ Mother, do you think she's good enough, ~  
~ For me? ~  
~ Mother, do you think she's dangerous, ~  
~ To me? ~  
~ Mother will she tear your little boy apart? ~  
~ Ooooowaa Mother, will she break my heart? ~  
  
I drank her blood. I sank my fangs into her   
(Tender, bare, inticing)  
neck and pulled the lifeblood out of her veins. I killed my entire family. One by   
one.   
  
~ Hush, my baby. Baby, don't you cry. ~  
~ Momma's gonna check out all your girlfriends for you. ~  
~ Momma won't let anyone dirty get through. ~  
~ Momma's gonna wait up until you get in. ~  
~ Momma will always find out where you've been. ~  
~ Momma's gonna keep Baby healthy and clean. ~  
~ Oooo Babe. ~  
~ Oooo Babe. ~  
~ Oooo Babe, you'll always be Baby to me. ~  
  
I killed them all. And then I killed hundereds of others. I drove Drusilla insane   
and turned her into a  
(goddess, queen of the night, a dark soul equal to mine, my lover)  
vampire. A killing machine just like me.   
  
But inside, the soul that was kept in a deep, dark hold deep inside screamed for   
my mother. For all the victums. For me.  
  
~ Mother, did it need to be so high? ~  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  



	7. Giles

The Wall- Goodbye Blue Sky   
  
~ Look, Mummy. There's an airplane up in the sky. ~  
  
I was twenty-six. Mum and I were taking a walk in the park. She had turned to   
talk to me when a plane flew overhead. Music was playing from down the square.   
Mum wanted to talk to me about something all walk, always stopping just before   
she said anything. But when the plane flew over head, she finnaly got the nerve.   
She turned to me.  
  
~ Did you, did you see the frightened ones? ~  
~ Did you, did you hear the falling bombs? ~  
~ Did you ever wonder why we had to run for shelter, ~  
~ When the promise of a brave new world, ~  
~ Unfurled beneath a clear blue sky? ~  
  
"Rupert, your father has decided to take extream measures."  
  
She was talking about the Watchers Councle. My father had been hounding me for   
years to join up. But I was having too much fun to do anything like that.   
  
"No way Mum. I'm going to play gituar. I've gotten a few gigs and the people like   
my stuff."  
  
"Rupert. Your friend, Ethen, has been worshiping Janas.If you don't join and   
carry on the family tradiation, your father will send the councel after him.   
He'll have the current Slayer destory all of your friends. But he'll leave you   
alone."   
  
I stopped short. I knew that Ethen had be worshiping Janas to get closer to a   
woman he was in love with.  
  
"Mom, you've got to help me stop him."  
  
"I..I..I can't. Your father would kill me. You must understand."  
  
"Understand! You tell me that my father is going to kill my best friend and when   
I ask you for help all you can say is "You must understand!" I yelled at her and   
then took off running. I was determined to find Ethan and warn him of my   
father's trechery.  
  
That was the last time I ever saw my mum. She was attacked by a vampire a few   
days later and died from her injurys. I missed the funeral. I never saw my mother   
buried in the ground because I had to warn my friends.  
  
Then I became a Watcher.  
  
~ Did you, did you see the frightened ones? ~  
~ Did you, did you hear the falling bombs? ~  
~ The flames are all long gone, ~  
~ But the pain lingers on. ~  
~ Goodbye, blue sky. ~  
~ Goodbye, blue sky. ~  
~ Goodbye. ~  
~ Goodbye. ~  
  
I didn't become a Watcher for fame.   
  
I became a Watcher for my mother.  
  
For Mum.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity. 


	8. Dru

The Wall- Empty Spaces   
  
Spike had the record on. And the stars sang to me. About the darkness to come,   
how daddy would come back. But they said it would be better than before.   
  
They lied.   
  
The stars lied and spoke words of anger and hate and blood dripping over   
everything.   
  
Miss Edith lied to me.  
  
~ What shall we use to fill the empty spaces, ~  
~ Where we used to talk? ~  
~ How shall I fill the final places? ~  
~ How shall I complete the wall? ~  
  
I'm alone now. All the light from Spike is gone. All the darkness from daddy is   
gone.  
  
My Angel is good.  
  
My William is good.  
  
I alone am still evil.   
  
Just me and Miss Edith.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity. 


	9. Ethan

Young Lust   
  
You want to know about this song. Why I always listen to it. I'll tell you.   
  
But keep in mind that if you breath a word about this to anyone, I'll turn you   
into a fat rat and give you to my cat.  
  
Say, that rhymes.  
  
Anyway, I was leaving a magiks shop when I saw her.  
  
~ I am just a new boy, ~  
~ Stranger in this town. ~  
~ Where are all the good times? ~  
~ Who's gonna show this stranger around? ~  
  
She was bloody beautiful. A real woman. Her hair was black as the night sky, her   
eyes the crystal blue of a midday sky, and her face was the color of white   
clouds.  
  
This goddess of color walked right up to me and said,"Are you a worshiper of   
Janus?"  
  
~ Oooo I need a dirty woman. ~  
~ Oooo I need a dirty girl. ~  
  
I knew from then on, I would do anything for her.   
  
So I joined up. And I found that I loved every bit. Especially her.   
  
We were happy for a few years. I was desperatly in love with her. But then I made   
my mistake.  
  
I proposed.  
  
She dropped me like a bucket of sludge.   
  
~ Will some woman in this desert land, ~  
~ Make me feel like a real man? ~  
~ Take this rock and roll refugee. ~  
~ Oooo Babe, set me free. ~  
  
I don't regret joining. Janus isn't the type to leave his followers high and dry.   
  
But I haven't see her in a while.   
  
Last I heard, she was married with three kids.   
  
~ Oooo I need a dirty woman. ~  
~ Oooo I need a dirty girl. ~  
~ Oooo I need a dirty woman. ~  
~ Oooo I need a dirty girl. ~  
  
But I don't let it get to me.  
  
I still have my religion.  
  
~End~  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity. 


	10. Angelus

The Wall- One Of My Turns   
  
~ Oh my God, what a fabulous room! ~  
~ Are all these your guitars? ~  
~ This place is bigger than our apartment. ~  
~ Uh, could I get a drink of water? ~  
~ Ya want some? Huh? ~  
~ Oh wow! Look at this tub! ~  
~ Wanna take a bath? ~  
~ What're you watching? ~  
~ Hello? ~  
~ Are you feeling ok? ~  
  
(Angel sleeps. But I don't. I demon can't sleep with him around. I can't see, I   
can't move our body. But I can hear. Pink Floyd is playing in the backround.)  
  
~ Day after day, ~  
~ Our love turns gray, ~  
~ Like the skin on a dying man. ~  
~ And night after night, ~  
~ We pretend it's all right, ~  
~ But I have grown older, ~  
~ And you have grown colder, ~  
~ And nothing is very much fun, anymore. ~  
~ And I can feel, ~  
~ One of all my turns coming on. ~  
~ I feel, ~  
~ Cold as a razor blade, ~  
~ Tight as a tourniquet, ~  
~ Dry as a funeral drum. ~  
  
(Angel hates this song. Because it reminds him of Buffy. And then it reminds him   
of me. Of the killing we did in Europe. All over the country, all over the world.  
Because I'm insane. So? What's wrong with that. He's afraid that one day he'll   
give in. Not afraid that I will get loose. No, he's more afraid of warping his   
soul than losing it.)  
  
~ Run to the bedroom, ~  
~ In the suitcase on the left, ~  
~ You'll find my favorite axe. ~  
~ Don't look so frightened, ~  
~ This is just a passing phase, ~  
~ One of my bad days. ~  
~ Would you like to watch TV? ~  
~ Or get between the sheets? ~  
~ Or contemplate the silent freeway? ~  
~ Would you like something to eat? ~  
~ Would you like to learn to fly? ~  
~ Would ya? ~  
~ Would you like to see me try? ~  
~ Ooohh. No! ~  
~ Would you like to call the cops? ~  
~ Do you think it's time I stopped? ~  
~ Why are you running away? ~  
  
(More afraid of giving in to me.)  
  
(Much more afraid.) 


	11. Anya

The Wall- Don't Leave Me Now   
  
I've granted strange wishes. But the strangest happened in '82. A woman,   
breath-taking beautiful, sumoned me. She wanted me to play this song for him.   
Play is over and over until he went insane. And she wanted to watch.   
  
He had beat her. Put her though the shredder she said. But never felt sorry. She   
tried to leave, get a divorce. He wouldn't let her. Eventualy he locked her up   
and beat her until she bleed from the ears. He drugged her and tried   
brainwashing.   
  
This was her punishment to him.  
  
~ Oooo Babe, ~  
~ Don't leave me now. ~  
~ Don't say it's the end of the road. ~  
~ Remember the flowers I sent. ~  
~ I need you, Babe, ~  
~ To put through the shredder in front of my friends. ~  
~ Oh Babe, ~  
~ Don't leave me now. ~  
~ How could you go? ~  
~ When you know how I need you, ~  
~ To beat to a pulp on a Saturday night. ~  
~ Oh Babe, ~  
~ Don't leave me now. ~  
~ How can you treat me this way? ~  
~ Running away. ~  
~ Oh Babe, ~  
~ Why are you running away? ~  
  
It took six months. After that he became a nutcase. He just gibbered and   
muttered to himself.   
  
She wasn't much better off. When she said that she wanted to watch, she didn't   
know that she would be suck in there with him. She went crazy too.   
  
I still can't listen to this song.   
  
I still hear him wimpering while she thumped her head against the wall, blood   
running down her face.   
  
Running into her eyes.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity. 


	12. Kate

The Wall- Another Brick in the Wall, Part III   
  
Do you know what it's like to have your world fall around you? To find out that   
demons are real. That there is true evil.   
  
But do you know what is worse? To find out that the person you trusted, is one of   
them. And that your father is helping the evil. To find your father dead, killed   
by a vampire.  
  
~ I don't need no walls around me. ~  
~ And I don't need no drugs to calm me. ~  
~ I have seen the writing on the wall. ~  
~ Don't think I need any thing at all. ~  
~ No. Don't think I need anything at all. ~  
~ All in all it was all just the bricks in the wall. ~  
~ All in all it was all just the bricks in the wall. ~  
  
And he expects me to just deal with it.  
  
To go back to trusting him.  
  
He is a vampire.  
  
Vampires killed my father.  
  
I'll never trust him again.  
  
Never.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel.   
I only have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity. 


	13. Spike

The Wall- Goodbye Cruel World   
  
I can't belive I've sunk this low. I was William the Bloody, killer of two   
slayers, feared by all. Childe of Angelus, the terror of Europe, lover of   
Drusila, one of the most dangerous female vampires have been sired. One hundred   
and twenty-four years ago I was made into a vampire by the childe of Darla,   
childe of the Master, childe of one of the most powerful blood lines to ever   
exist.  
  
Now I'm trapped in a basement, drinking pigs blood and wearing Xander's clothes.  
  
~ Goodbye, cruel world, ~  
~ I'm leaving you today. ~  
~ Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. ~  
  
I've killed and maimed for all of my life. I killed my first man when I was five.   
I've never gone this long without killing. Never.   
  
I'm going to stake myself. I can't live without Dru. I can't live like this.   
  
I'm tired and lonely. And I'm not going to sink any lower. No bloody way.  
  
The stake is smooth against my palm. An old thing, used on many different   
vampires and other assorted demons. Well worn, I imagine that it will slide into   
my chest like a hot knife though butter.  
  
~ Goodbye all you people, ~  
~ There's nothing you can say, ~  
~ To make me change my mind. ~  
~ Goodbye. ~  
  
One push and it will be all over.  
  
Just one push.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  



	14. Cordelia

The Wall- Hey You   
  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Out there in the cold, ~  
~ Getting lonely, getting old, ~  
~ Can you feel me? ~  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Standing in the aisle, ~  
~ With itchy feet and fading smile, ~  
~ Can you feel me? ~  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Don't help them to bury the light. ~  
~ Don't give in without a fight. ~  
  
It hurts so much.  
  
Doyle, why did you have to leave?  
  
I'm alone. I know Angel cares about me. And Dennis does too. Hell, even Wesley   
gives a damn.  
  
But I feel so alone.  
  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Out there on your own, ~  
~ Sitting naked by the phone, ~  
~ Would you touch me? ~  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ With your ear against the wall, ~  
~ Waiting for someone to call out, ~  
~ Would you touch me? ~  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Would you help me to carry the stone? ~  
~ Open your heart, I'm coming home. ~  
  
I was beginning to love Doyle. That's why it hurts. Not because I loved him. But   
because I never got the chance to.  
  
I never got the chance.  
  
~ But it was only fantasy. ~  
~ The wall was too high, as you can see. ~  
~ No matter how he tried he could not break free. ~  
~ And the worms ate into his brain. ~  
  
It's so cold. Everyone is an outsider here.   
  
I thought I had found someone. But he was just using me. He made me pregnant with   
demon spawn.   
  
Everyone I let into my heart ends up hurting me.   
  
Xander kissing Willow.  
  
Doyle jumping to his death.  
  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Out there on the road, ~  
~ Always doing what you're told, ~  
~ Can you help me? ~  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Out there beyond the wall, ~  
~ Breaking bottles in the hall, ~  
~ Can you help me? ~  
~ Hey you, ~  
~ Don't tell me there's no hope at all. ~  
~ Together we stand, divided we fall. ~  
  
Why does love hurt so much?  
  
Why?  
  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  
  
  



	15. Unknown Vampire

The Wall- Is there anybody out there?   
  
I'm alone.   
  
In a cage.  
  
I don't know who did this.   
  
I remember men in army outfits zapping me.  
  
And then I was here.  
  
~ Is there anybody out there? ~  
  
They play music over the loudspeaker system.  
  
The only blood is drugged.   
  
The gods know what happen when I sleep.  
  
~ Is there anybody out there? ~  
  
Why is this happening to me?  
  
Because I'm not a human?  
  
Because I'm a vampire?  
  
~ Is there anybody out there? ~  
  
Is there?   
  
Anybody?   
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions, my scraps of sanity and the Unknown   
Vampire.  
  



	16. Faith

The Wall- Nobody Home   
  
I'm sitting in my room. Well, it's not really my room. I beat up a guy for the   
keys. But he deserved it. He was trying to use me. Just like every other man I've   
ever met. Except for Mayor Wilkens. B and her friends never understood it from my   
point of view. My entire life I was treated like crap. By everyone. I had learnt   
to expect the worse from everything.   
  
~ I got a little black book with my poems in. ~  
~ Got a bag, got a toothbrush and a comb. ~  
~ When I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone. ~  
~ I got elastic bands keeping my shoes on. ~  
~ Got those swollen hands blues. ~  
~ Got thirteen channels of shit on the TV to choose from. ~  
~ I got electric light, ~  
~ And I got second sight. ~  
~ Got amazing powers of observation. ~  
~ And that is how I know, ~  
~ When I try to get through, ~  
~ On the telephone to you, ~  
~ There'll be nobody home. ~  
  
My first watcher was a woman called Katrenia Fox. The first person I'd ever met   
that didn't treat me like scum. She understood me. She helped me learn to slay,   
to spot a vampire, the different warning signs of a demon. She also understood   
how I felt after a kill. She never frowned at anything I did.   
  
But then she died.  
  
And I ran.  
  
~ I got the obligatory Hendrix perm, ~  
~ And the inevitable pinhole burns, ~  
~ All down the front of my favorite satin shirt. ~  
~ I got nicotine stains on my fingers. ~  
~ I got a silver spoon on a chain. ~  
~ Got a grand piano to prop up my mortal remains. ~  
~ I've got wild, staring eyes. ~  
~ And I got a strong urge to fly, ~  
~ But I got nowhere to fly to ...fly to... fly to... fly to. ~  
~ Oooo Babe, ~  
~ When I pick up the phone, ~  
~ There's still nobody home. ~  
  
And now, I'm running again. Running from B and her friends, running from a past   
that I don't want to face. I ran to L.A. Maybe I'll lose myself in the crowds.   
Maybe I'll lose myself in this song.   
  
Maybe I'll die.  
  
~ I got a pair of Gohill boots, ~  
~ And I got fading roots. ~  
  
Right now I don't care what happens.  
  
I don't care at all.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	17. Joyce

The Wall- Vera   
  
Her name was Vera. Vera Demard. My best friend.   
  
We lived beside each other from birth to when we graduated. After that we lost   
touch.   
  
~ Does anybody here remember Vera Lynn? ~  
~ Remember how she said, ~  
~ That we would meet again, ~  
~ Some sunny day. ~  
  
We met again. Just after I married Hank. We talked for a few minutes. I was the   
last person to see her.  
  
They found her body a few days later in the park. Her blood had been drained and   
there were two puncture marks in her neck. A vampire's supper. But I wouldn't   
know that till later.  
  
About twenty years later infact.  
  
~ Vera!, Vera! ~  
~ What has become of you? ~  
~ Does anybody else in here feel the way I do? ~  
  
I saw her again when Buffy was two. Walking down the street a night. I almost   
called out.  
  
But Buffy looked at Vera and cried.  
  
By the time Buffy had stopped, Vera was gone.  
  
I never saw her again.   
  
But I still wonder what would have happened if I had called her name?  
  
What if Buffy hadn't stopped me?  
  
What if?  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	18. Unknown Vampire

The Wall- Bring The Boys Back Home   
  
Alone, all alone.  
  
They've gone.  
  
Because he's dead.  
  
I really don't care anymore.  
  
~ Bring the boys back home ~  
~ Bring the boys back home ~  
~ Don't leave the children on their own ~  
~ Bring the boys back home. ~  
  
The minions are all gone. Looking for a new master. A new lord.  
  
They've left me alone.  
  
I'm bleeding to death.   
  
They won't even finish me.  
  
~... Is there anybody out there ? ~  
  
I called out into the dark.  
  
I want to cry.   
  
To sob great heaving sobs till I feel human again.  
  
Or until I die.  
  
One cut is all I have.  
  
I could stop it.  
  
But my hands are chained to the wall.  
  
I hope I die before they come back.  
  
Please, let me die.  
  
Please.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	19. Angel

The Wall- Comfortably Numb   
  
Where am I?  
  
Who am I?  
  
(What?)  
  
Who's that in there! Answer me! Who's in my head!  
(Your head! You stole my body! Give it back!)  
  
~ Hello? ~  
~ Is there anybody in there? ~  
~ Just nod if you can hear me. ~  
~ Is there anyone home? ~  
  
Wait a minute. Look at the girl. She's just standing there, looking at me.   
Who is she?  
What happened?  
  
~ Come on, now. ~  
~ I hear you're feeling down. ~  
~ Well I can ease your pain, ~  
~ And get you on your feet again. ~  
  
(SLAYER!)   
The thing in my head screams.   
  
Slayer? What's a slayer?  
  
~ Relax. ~  
~ I need some information first. ~  
~ Just the basic facts, ~  
~ Can you show me where it hurts? ~  
  
My memories are coming back. She is Buffy. My love.  
(My hate!)  
My soul mate. But she looks older.  
  
~ There is no pain, you are receding. ~  
~ A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. ~  
~ You are only coming through in waves. ~  
~ Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'. ~  
~ When I was a child I had a fever. ~  
~ My hands felt just like two balloons. ~  
~ Now I got that feeling once again. ~  
~ I can't explain, you would not understand. ~  
~ This is not how I am. ~  
~ I have become comfortably numb. ~  
  
"Angel?"  
  
Who's Angel? Am I Angel?  
  
(Angelus! Don't listen to her! She lies!)  
  
Why would she lie? I love her.  
  
~ Ok. ~  
~ Just a little pinprick. ~  
~ There'll be no more ...Aaaaaahhhhh! ~  
~ But you may feel a little sick. ~  
  
"Do you remember me Angel? Do you remember..." Her voice fades away.  
  
What am I to remember?  
  
Then it flashes. I'm a vampire. I kill. But I have a soul. So I don't.   
(But you did! You left! You gave me my body back! Give it! It's mine!)  
I did. I did leave. And you killed! How could you!  
(I'm a demon! I need blood! And I like it! Now leave! LEAVE!!!!!!!!!)  
  
~ Can you stand up? ~  
~ I do believe it's working. Good. ~  
~ That'll keep you going for the show. ~  
~ Come on it's time to go. ~  
  
My head throbs. Then I realize, I finnaly realize what I've done! I killed! I   
torched! I made her cry! I made Buffy cry!  
(I did! You did nothing! Me! Me! I did it!)  
And the tears are in the back of my eyes. I want to break down, let them roll   
down my cheeks. I want to bury my face into her hair. To touch her lips to mine.   
I want to make her young and happy again. But I can't! I've destroyed her!  
  
"Angel. Everything will be ok."  
  
She still loves me! I can't do anything. So I fall. I fall on my needs and try   
to beg forgiveness. But I can only say one thing.  
  
"Buffy."  
  
~ There is no pain, you are receding. ~  
~ A distant ship's smoke on the horizon. ~  
~ You are only coming through in waves. ~  
~ Your lips move but I can't hear what you're sayin'. ~  
~ When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse, ~  
~ Out of the corner of my eye. ~  
~ I turned to look but it was gone. ~  
~ I cannot put my finger on it now. ~  
~ The child is grown, the dream is gone. ~  
~ I have become comfortably numb. ~  
  
I gaze at her. The keeper of my heart. My goddess of light. And I reach out to   
grasp her.   
  
But inside.  
  
Inside I am dying.  
  
For I have killed the Buffy I love.  
  
I have killed her.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	20. Harmony

The Wall- The Show Must Go On   
  
You think I'm a blond bimbo.   
  
That I am as shallow as a wading pool.  
  
I'm deeper than that.  
  
~ Must the show go on? ~  
  
I was a stupid human.   
  
I act like an even stupider vampire.  
  
Or so you think.  
  
~ Oooooo Pa, (Let me go, let me go, let me go.) ~  
~ Oooooo Ma, (Take me home, take me home, take me home.) ~  
  
I've lived in Sunnydale as a vampire for a year now.   
  
To live past one year in Sunnydale is one of the toughest things to do.  
  
But I have.  
  
~ There must be some mistake, ~  
~ I never meant to let them take, ~  
~ Away my soul. ~  
~ Am I too old? ~  
~ Is it too late? ~  
  
A few years ago. I would have faded into the crowd. Disapeared.  
  
I was a sheep. But it suited my purpose.  
  
In Sunnydale, those who are more than sheep, stand out. And then get killed.  
  
But I hid. A sheep among other sheep is the safest place to be. Just move faster   
than the rest and you'll be all right.  
  
But then I fought. And got turned.  
  
~ Where has the feeling gone? ~  
~ Will I remember this song? ~  
~ The show must go on. ~  
  
You look at me. But you don't see me.  
  
Because I'm smarter than the average vampire.  
  
I may have a soft spot for Spike. But I got over that.  
  
I may be alone. But now I don't have to keep up the act.  
  
At least not in private.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	21. Unknown Vampire

The Wall- In The Flesh   
  
Who is she to decide!   
  
To say I'm an animal!  
  
I'm better than that!  
  
But she stands there, gloating expresion on her face. Worse than the Slayer. At   
least the Slayer will fight you.  
  
She just straps you to a table and does experments.   
  
To see how long I can life without blood. Or if my fingers grow back. Or if I can   
run though her maze.  
  
~ So ya thought ya might like to go to the show. ~  
~ To feel the warm thrill of confusion, that space cadet glow. ~  
~ I got me some bad news for you, Sunshine. ~  
~ Pink isn't well, he stayed back at the hotel, ~  
~ And he sent us along as a surrogate band. ~  
~ We're gonna find out where you fans really stand. ~  
~ Are there any queers in the theatre tonight? ~  
~ Get 'em up against the wall. ~  
~ 'Gainst the wall! ~  
~ And that one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me. ~  
~ Get him up against the wall. ~  
~ 'Gainst the wall! ~  
~ And that one looks Jewish, and that one's a coon. ~  
~ Who let all this riffraff into the room? ~  
~ There's one smoking a joint, and another with spots! ~  
~ If I had my way I'd have all of ya shot. ~  
  
She's a mad scientist. Except the scientist waits till his 'subjects' are dead.  
  
I'm not dead.  
  
She's putting chips into my brain.   
  
'Behavior modification' she calls it. That's a load of demon slime.   
  
Did someone hurt her when she was young? Did someone try this with her?  
  
Or is she just sadistic.   
  
I've been talking to her. In english.  
  
She pretends I'm not.   
  
Pretends I'm like a parrot. A parrot who speaks but doesn't understand what's   
saying.  
  
I know very well what I say.  
  
Does it make it easier? Telling herself than I'm just a lab rat?  
  
Does it?  
  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity. The Unknown   
Vampire is my own creation.  
  



	22. Oz

The Wall- Run Like Hell   
  
I'm running away. From Willow. From Verca. From Sunnydale. From everyone.  
  
I hate the wolf inside me.   
  
I thought that I could ignore it. Make it disapear inside of me. At least until   
the full moon.  
  
I was wrong.  
  
~ You better make your face up, ~  
~ In your favorite disguise, ~  
~ With your button-down lips, ~  
~ And your roller blind eyes. ~  
~ With your empty smile, ~  
~ And your hungry heart, ~  
~ Feel the bile rising, ~  
~ From your guilty past. ~  
~ With your nerves in tatters, ~  
~ As the cockleshell shatters, ~  
~ And the hammers batter, ~  
~ Down your door, ~  
~ You better run. ~  
  
I could have killed her. I killed Verca.   
  
I also cheated with Verca.  
  
I killed Verca. I could have killed Willow.  
  
What I did was worse. Worse than what she did.  
  
She shared a kiss with the boy she had a crush on for thirteen years. Since she   
was five.   
  
I'd known Verca for a week, maybe two. I did much more than kiss her.  
  
~ You better run all day, ~  
~ And run all night. ~  
~ And keep your dirty feelings deep inside. ~  
~ And if you're taking your girlfriend out tonight, ~  
~ You better park the car well out of sight. ~  
~ 'Cause if they catch you in the back seat, ~  
~ Trying to pick her lock, ~  
~ They're gonna send you back to Mother, ~  
~ In a cardboard box. ~  
~ You better run! ~  
  
I know that Willow won't understand.   
  
I know that she might leave.  
  
I might never kiss her again.  
  
But I have to go.  
  
I have to.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	23. Willy

The Wall- Waiting For The Worms   
  
I just run a bar.   
  
I've heard them talk behind my back. How I'm a tratior to my own kind.  
  
My kind?   
  
I sneer at those who refer to humans as my kind. I was raised with demons. I   
know many vampires personaly. I give them what they want, I don't end up dead.   
  
Neither does my family.  
  
~ Oooo You cannot reach me now, ~  
~ Oooo No matter how you try. ~  
~ Goodbye cruel world, it's over. ~  
~ Walk on by. ~  
  
You can look down you nose at me if you want. But remember this. You are only a   
tratior is you are selling out something that belived in you. That you belived   
in. That took care of you.  
  
Humanity didn't give me anything. They treated me like dirt and so I treat them   
like livestock.  
  
Fair is fair.  
  
~ Sitting in a bunker, ~  
~ Here behind my wall, ~  
~ Waiting for the worms to come. ~  
~ In perfect isolation, ~  
~ Here behind my wall, ~  
~ Waiting for the worms to come. ~  
  
I know I might end up dead one day. I know that my death will most likely be   
caused by an angry customer.   
  
But I don't care.  
  
~ Waiting, to cut out the deadwood. ~  
~ Waiting, to clean up the city. ~  
~ Waiting, to follow the worms. ~  
~ Waiting, to put on a black shirt. ~  
~ Waiting, to weed out the weaklings. ~  
~ Waiting, to smash in their windows and kick in their doors. ~  
~ Waiting, for the final solution to strengthen the strain. ~  
~ Waiting, to follow the worms. ~  
~ Waiting, to turn on the showers and fire the ovens. ~  
~ Waiting, for the queers and the coons and the Reds and the Jews. ~  
~ Waiting, to follow the worms. ~  
  
You say I've sold my soul.   
  
But would you like the know what the price was?  
  
Here I don't worry about anything but money. I can walk home at night and not   
worry. I never fear that some day my brother will call and tell me how one of my   
neices was killed.  
  
I don't worry that I'll die penny-less on the street, one last meal for some   
hungry minion.  
  
~ Would you like to see Britannia, ~  
~ Rule again, my friend? ~  
~ All you have to do is follow the worms. ~  
~ Would you like to send our colored cousins, ~  
~ Home again, my friend? ~  
~ All you need to do is follow the worms. ~  
  
Sure I follow the worms.   
  
But, if offered the same things, would you refuse.  
  
I'm not a Slayer, a Watcher or a demon hunter.  
  
I'm just human.   
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  
  



	24. Riley

The Wall- Stop   
  
I'm a tratior.  
  
That's what they said.  
  
But I don't belive what they say anymore.  
  
They pumped my body full of chemicals. They created Adam. They said Buffy was   
evil. That there was no such thing as the Slayer.  
  
They were wrong.  
  
~ I wanna go home, ~  
~ Take off this uniform and leave the show, ~  
~ But I'm waiting here in this cell because I have to know, ~  
~ Have I been guilty all this time? ~  
  
The song makes me think. Makes me wonder. What am I doing here. Waiting for my   
dischage. I should just get up and leave. Turn my back on them like they will on   
my.   
  
But instead I wait.   
  
I want to know.   
  
No, I have to know.  
  
Was I a trator?  
  
I don't think so. At one time I would have been the first to deny it.  
  
But not now.   
  
Not now.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	25. Unknown

The Wall- The Trial   
  
The trial will come some day. Some day while we smile and laugh, while we shout   
and cry, while we live and smile, we will die.  
  
Will it be quick? An explsion, a vampire attack, a car crash?  
  
Will it be slow? Killed off one by one with disease and old age as our foes?   
Will we die as martyrs for our cause?  
  
~ Good morning, The Worm, Your Honour, ~  
~ The Crown will plainly show, ~  
~ The prisoner who now stands before you, ~  
~ Was caught red-handed showing feelings. ~  
~ Showing feelings of an almost human nature. ~  
~ This will not do. ~  
  
What about the afterlife? Heaven or Hell? Some place where no monsters live and   
you live in bliss forever? Or a heavenly battleground where we defend good   
forever?  
  
Or maybe a trial.  
  
~ Call the schoolmaster! ~  
  
A place where we would be tried for our crimes in life, in the hope that be   
would recive eternal salvation. Or eternal damnation.  
  
~ I always said he'd come to no good, ~  
~ In the end, Your Honour. ~  
~ If they'd let me have my way, ~  
~ I could have flayed him into shape. ~  
~ But my hands were tied. ~  
~ The bleeding hearts and artists, ~  
~ Let him get away with murder. ~  
~ Let me hammer him today. ~  
  
Our teachers, our parents, our loves, our friends and our victumes testifing   
against us. Or for us.   
  
I'm not sure on that yet.   
  
I don't know if I ever will be.  
  
~ Crazy. ~  
~ Toys in the attic, I am crazy. ~  
~ Truly gone fishing. ~  
~ They must have taken my marbles away. ~  
~ Crazy. ~  
~ (Toys in the attic, he is crazy.) ~  
  
What can I plead?  
  
Guilty?   
  
Innocent?   
  
Or maybe we'll just plead insanity.....  
  
~ You little shit, you're in it now. ~  
~ I hope they throw away the key. ~  
~ You should've talked to me more often than you did. ~  
~ But no! You had to go your own way. ~  
~ Have you broken any homes up lately? ~  
~ Just five minutes, Worm, Your Honour, ~  
~ Him and me alone. ~  
  
Would I be able to just sit there at my table, listening to the insults, watching   
as those who I thought were my friends sell me down the river for a chance at a   
heaven i'll never see.  
  
Would I do the same?  
  
~ Baaaaaabe! ~  
~ Come to Mother, baby. ~  
~ Let me hold you in my arms. ~  
~ M'Lord, I never meant for him to get in any trouble. ~  
~ Why'd he ever have to leave me? ~  
~ Worm, Your Honour, let me take him home. ~  
  
Could I testify against anyone of my friends? Against my soulmate?   
  
I don't know.  
  
Gods help me. Maybe I would.  
  
~ Crazy. ~  
~ Over the rainbow, I am crazy. ~  
~ Bars in the window. ~  
~ There must have been a door there in the wall. ~  
~ For when I came in. ~  
~ Crazy. ~  
~ (Over the rainbow, he is crazy.) ~  
  
When death comes, I'd like to promise that we'd be together. That we'd have   
children and grandchildren and even great-grandchildren. That we would be   
happyly married, that we would face death with our head held high and smiles of   
delight on our faces.  
  
But I can't. I can't even promise to protect you.  
  
~ The evidence before the court is incontrovertible. ~  
~ There's no need for the jury to retire. ~  
~ In all my years of judging I have never heard before, ~  
~ Of someone more deserving of the full penalty of the law. ~  
~ The way you made them suffer, ~  
~ Your exquisite wife and mother, ~  
~ Fills me with the urge to defecate! ~  
~ (No, Judge, the jury! ) ~  
~ Since, my friend, you have revealed your deepest fear, ~  
~ I sentence you to be exposed before your peers. ~  
~ Tear down the wall! ~  
  
We all have a wall build around us. A wall that hides our emotions from each   
other. The things we really feel and think. I lets us work with people that we   
don't like. Lets us love without destroying it. Keeps us sane.  
  
Death will bring that wall down.   
  
And then we will see inside us all.  
  
I don't want to see.  
  
I don't want to know if Willow loves me. I don't want to know if Xander resents   
me for treating him like I did. I don't want to know if Angel could ever forgive   
himself for what he did to me. I won't. I don't want to know if Buffy still hates   
me for all the times I lied to her. If Anya would kill us all if she could. I   
don't want to see what Spike would do if he was free from the chip. I don't want   
to know what Giles thinks of me. I want to stay inside the wall.  
  
Please, let me stay inside the wall.  
  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  



	26. Tara

The Wall- Outside The Wall   
  
I'm still outside the wall.  
  
Willow and I may be together. But she is the only one who accepts me yet.  
  
Giles is a bit uneasy. Xander keeps looking at me. Buffy doesn't quiet trust me.  
  
But I'm not alone out here.  
  
~ All alone, or in twos, ~  
~ The ones who really know you, ~  
~ Walk up and down outside the wall. ~  
~ Some hand in hand, ~  
~ Some gather together in bands, ~  
~ The bleeding hearts and artists, ~  
~ Make their stand. ~  
~ And when they've given you their all, ~  
~ Some stagger and fall. ~  
~ After all it's not easy, ~  
~ Banging your heart against some mad bugger's wall. ~  
  
Spike is here. He knows he will never go inside. Accepted but not allowed in.  
  
Anya is out here. Looked on as a resource, as Xander's girlfriend. But she is not   
allowed in.  
  
Riley is on the outside. Buffy's second steady boyfriend. They made the mistake   
of letting the first one it.   
  
They won't do it again.   
  
So we sit out here. Outsiders gazing in. Watching the utopia that goes on without   
us.  
  
Faith was an outsider. So was Kendra. And Jana. And Wesley. And Cordelia. And Oz.  
  
All outsiders. And they all left. Left or died.   
  
Because, we may have company. But we're still along.  
  
Still alone.  
  
Disclamer: I don't own the Wall. I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I only   
have the peices of my shattered illsions and my scraps of sanity.  
  
I'd like to thank anyone who has read the entire series. It's been long going and   
I congradulate you for hanging in there.   
  
Sanguniary. 


End file.
